251/365: Recovery Day 3

I have now been moved to a general floor.  I still hadn’t eaten since surgery, my nauseousness was better, pain was more under control, i had multiple infections and the start of pneumonia –  I choose to curl in a ball and wallow in my own pain.  I was sad, confused, angry, mad – why me, why now, why would the things I love have to change? why why why.. it wasn’t fair and I was going to let it win because to me at this moment it wasn’t worth the fight..

… but then..

i realized i wanted to go home. and the only way i could go home was if i got better and made the effort of getting better.  so i decided to get up and walk and walk and walk with my brace and walker and i ate.